My Weekly Rant: Volume 1

I know Sarah, you've made multiple lists of things that "grind your gears" but after watching the news all night, I'm also in the mood to share my current list with the world....

This week's list of things that piss me off:

1) I'm gonna say it: Obama. What is it going to take for him to realize that the American people aren't very happy with him...at all? I mean shit, his socialistic healthcare reform bill has been stuck in debate for a year and his approval ratings are on a downhill slope which is very abnormal this early on in his presidency (considering most candidates serve two consecutive terms) And we mustn't forget that people, even those of his own political party, have tried to put their anger on display in the only way that Americans know how...Massachusetts, a blue state, voted Scott Brown (R) into Ted Kennedy's senate seat; a senate seat that had been Democratic for 40+ years (minus an understandable hiatus when JFK was assassinated); If that's not a big "Hey Obama, you're wrong," then I don't know what is...Sorry, I'll stop with the political talk. I just can't help it sometimes.

2) HBO: Why in the good Lord's name does HBO like to torture me?! Entourage and True Blood's season finales were back in August or September if I remember correctly (which I might not considering that was FOREVER ago). But I do know that neither of them will begin their new seasons until "Early Summer 2010." What a sack of shit. I've already waited about 4 months but don't know if I have enough patience left for 4 or 5 more...With my luck, HBO and I don't have the same idea of "early summer."

3) Late Night Commercials: Just because I'm awake past 11pm doesn't mean I'm a horn-dog or need natural male enhancement. Maybe I just can't sleep? Maybe I just want to watch That 70's Show, Golden Girls and Cheers. I would greatly appreciate if TV networks would move their really creepy Enzyte commercials to channels that show related series. Do you really think someone watching Golden Girls at 2am wants to call some blonde twins for a good time? Didn't think so.

4) Lack of Money: So help me God, one day I will learn how to grow a money tree. And if I don't, I'm screwed. I want to go on so many vacations and to so many concerts; I want cute dress after cute bathingsuit after cute shoes but I can't get any of it. It's just really depressing. Hopefully my job luck is turning around thanks to Monica!! (fingers crossed)

5) Winter: I am SO sick of the cold; and by the cold, I mean any temperature below 70. I haven't quite pinpointed it but for some reason I am far more sick of winter this year than I've ever been before. Part of me thinks the reason is that I live at home now and look out over the marsh every day...it is such a tease to have the river right there, staring you in the face, knowing it's too cold to play in. Yeh, I'n just going to say that's it due to lack of a better reason.

6) "The Rock": When did Dwayne Johnson decide that he wanted to be the next "Children's Movie" star? It's kinda creepy.

7) School: that one's pretty self explanatory. It's school, it sucks.

8) Signing Day: the past couple of college football signing days have been nothing but sore reminders of how disappointing our team is. I've been told that we remain in the top 10 recruitment classes but that means nothing to me since Bama, Florida, LSU and even Auburn beat us. It's no secret that I hate Florida (as should all Georgia fans)...can't wait to watch that first game without Tebow. I can almost taste the victory. And when it comes to LSU, I don't really care...though the rivalry between me and my friend Mellody, a Baton Rouge native, is quite entertaining. It doesn't bother me that Bama excelled in recruitment, it's expected. They won the National Championship and they've got a damn good team....not to mention, we don't play them (in a regular season game) for another 3 years which gives us the chance to re-learn the game of football and retaliate for our last meeting between the hedges. But I simply just can't ignore the Auburn thing...Auburn? Really?

9) Being Pale: My philosophy usually is "It's Winter, everyone's supposed to be pale." Actually, it really really bothers me when people are unnaturally dark in the winter...hey, it's February, no one is going to laugh at you for being a couple hundred shades lighter than you are in the summer; and if they do, you shouldn't associate with them. If you haven't noticed, tanning beds give off more of an Oompa-Loompa tan than the sun anyway...and I'm sorry, there's nothing remotely attractive about Oompa-Loompas. All of that being said, I understand the occasional trip to the tanning salon...it actually does make you feel better. Maybe its the feeling of "I'm getting tan!" or maybe it's the super-warm bed that you get to lay/nap in for a few minutes? I was going to use the whole "vitamin B" excuse but apparently scientists just discovered that that's a load of crap...What I'm trying to say is that I've had my Jersey-Shore-like tanning phases but have ultimately decided (I'm older and smarter now) that there's no point in going all the time. I actually know girls, my age and younger, that are more freckly and leathery than ever before...it's really unattractive. In my opinion,though you're a few shades darker, your skin looks like shit...however, I'm so pale and sick of winter that I might soon be stepping up my tanning bed game. Gah it'd just be a lot easier if someone would create a "fast forward" button so it could be summer.

10) My new outlook on life: Ever since I can remember, I've been the girl with big boobs, scrawny arms and big hips (baby-birthing hips as Sarah so affectionately calls them). It was natural and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess knowing that those were 3 physical attributes that couldn't be (cheaply) altered, I decided that I didn't care what the rest of me looked like. For some reason though, I've recently decided that I need to go on 4 mile walks 5 days a week and start watching what I eat/do...no more cokes, less fast food, walk on the treadmill if it's raining, etc. Though I know that there is nothing wrong with working out and eating healthy, I've also come to discover that it is a very self-loathing lifestyle. If I don't go walk for a couple of days for what ever reason, I feel worthless and huge. If I eat out with my niece or drink a coke, I literally sit there and think about all of the things I'm not going to eat/drink for the rest of the day/week. Instead of looking in the mirror and noticing that my jeans are a little looser, I look in the mirror and notice the things that haven't changed. The funny part is that I never used to work out or eat right...ever...so automatically, all of this effort is going to have a positive effect (that I'm still not going to think is enough). I just wish I could go back to the days in which I didn't care.

#10 was a little depressing but it's my blog to vent about whatever I want to...I apologize.