Happy Birthday

This picture was taken on the night in which I met Kaitlyn Hannay...a University of Georgia ZTA from Valdosta who frequently takes one for the team. This one's for you, Hannay.

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the importance of today (well, technically yesterday since it's after midnight) but first, a preface: More than 2 years ago, my dear friend (and other half) Helen Lales reluctantly decided to embark on a 5 hour journey from Athens to spend a weekend with me in Charleston. I was originally planning on Jonathan and Helen being the two to invade my tiny downtown apartment but they soon informed me that a girl, whom I'd never met but for a brief drunken moment on St. Patty's Day, was going to be tagging along. Naturally, the news didn't phase me because I was just too excited to see Helen to even care. Little did I know the experience I was in for: a best friend. As sappy as that sounds, I am not exaggerrating when I say that Kaitlyn, Sarah and Julia make up 3/4ths of me. As I'm about to explain, Kaitlyn's fourth is just a drunken one...Hannay and Helen arrived in Charleston on a friday afternoon sometime late in our second semester of freshman year (judging by the slight tan and strapless dresses) and all I can say is that Hannay put the drunken UGA freshman to shame with her performance. I think it's safe to state a warning that you probably wont think this is as funny as we do because you werent there...but it's also safe to say that this is the story I will be telling at Kaitlyn's wedding so get used to it.
We began the night at a delicious restaurant (which are so frequent in Charleston) and then moved out to North Charleston to pregame at Robin's house (Robin can be seen flicking someone off, most likely jonathan, in the background of the picture above). After pregaming a little too hard at Robin's (freshmen, remember?), we decided it was a wise decision to take the pregame to a party somewhere else in north charleston...about 5 minutes after arriving at said party, Helen and I saw Kaitlyn attempt to wander down the stairs...hahahahaha and by attempt to wander, I mean not-so-gracefully bust ass. She mingled, drank and fell down the steps for a little while longer until she decided to pass out on the couch. We babysat her for about 30 minutes before I decided that I didn't know her well enough to sacrifice my own fun and Helen decided the house was safe enough to leave her asleep on the couch. Bad Decision. No, not bad decision because something happened to her, a bad decision because she found us and yelled about the possibilities of being raped or whatnot...during her rant, I somehow snuck away when she screamed "Helen, take me home!" Since Helen wasnt ready to leave, and decided to be evil, she told Hannay to go find me; I, being sneaky, sent her back to Helen. We literally sent the poor girl back and forth for an hour just to avoid leaving the party early...at one point, I had to drop my drink and take off running around the side of the house just to dodge the possibility of her catching Helen and I together (why she decided to remain friends with us, I'll never know). After an additional hour of torture, and an hour of tears, we decided to take one for the team and go home. We woke up the next morning with a brilliant story and the headaches to show for it but it was probably the best first impression I've ever shared with someone. Kaitlyn, here's to over two years (and hopefully many more) of a complicated relationship and the fact that you'll never have to wear an orange jumpsuit against your will (due to alcohol, anyway) haha...Happy 21st Birthday!!!!!

p.s. to all the other (like, 4) readers, I'm finally in the double digits...97 days till my 21st!! and of course, it's officially march so 16 days til St. Patty's Dayyyyy!! Now off to bed, work, school, carpool and then a sleepless night of paper writing before my much overdue mini-vacation to Charleston, Spring Break and St. Patty's Day. F-ing finally.

rediscoveries

Again, I'm doing everything I can to avoid writing my papers...I must admit I'm getting really good at it. But, on to the point of this blog: Sarah and I found this over christmas break? I don't know why but I find it incredibly entertaining...




and this would be one of the 9782497642 reasons I love soccer and will not die happy until I experience real soccer somewhere outside of the U.S. If you don't laugh at this, I must just be really easily entertained.




again, another soccer video but the title is very true...you can watch this 100 times in a row and you'll still laugh every time. The laughing might have lightened up over the past two years since it was posted but it's still funny.


You Can Watch This 100 Times And Still Laugh - The funniest movie is here. Find it

Shiny Toy Syndromes and Silver Linings

(Warning: this is really long)
For those of yall that don't know me very well, I suffer from something my mom refers to as "shiny toy syndrome." Every couple of weeks or months or so, I go through this stage where everything in my life just sucks. I get sick of everything and sometimes everyone that surrounds me and the only way to fix it is with shiny new toys. Now, these "toys" could range anywhere from something material like a car, clothes, jewelry and accessories to things like vacations, nights out on the town, dinner out, alcohol, new flings and new friends. Needless to say, I don't need or get 98% of the new things I want but I still can't help but get bored.
If you haven't figured it out yet, I am currently in a "shiny toy" week for some reason. It could be my unbearable excitement for the greatest and happiest day of the year (st. patty's day) or maybe my upcoming trip to the beautiful shopping mecca of Charleston, SC? Or maybe it's the impending arrival of my first official paycheck? Whatever it is, I truly hate this feeling. It's a short but excruciating time in which nothing and no one can please me.
Actually, I take that back...everything that is unsettling me is making me happy at the same time...why is my life so complex?
1) The fact that NO ONE sells green clothing is still weighing hard on my mind as St. Patty's day draws near but the fact that it's less than a month away makes me giddy. And let it be known that when I say giddy, I mean abnoxiously and ridiculously excited; just the thought of the day makes me grin from ear to ear and jump up and down like a school girl.
2) Work stung worse than ever this weekend...while all of my friends were out getting drunk on Williamson, my ass was sitting at work. No, wait, not just at work, INSIDE at work. It was the prettiest day of the year (until today) and I had to sit inside and hustle wedding dresses. It was the busiest day I've experienced so far yet not a thing was purchased...what a waste of my time. However, as much as I hate the retail world, my mom made a good point: sometimes jobs are meant to show us what we don't want to do; I used to think I never wanted to work in retail...now I know. But on the flip-side, I get a paycheck this friday...hellllll yeh.
3) I have two 7-page papers due on Wednesday and Thursday of this week. As usual, I am blogging instead of writing them but at least I have a topic for one! Ruth Bader Ginsburg vs. Clarence Thomas....what a relief. What is the silver lining of two papers (that I haven't started) being due this week, you ask? Well, the silver lining is that they'll finally be off my shoulders!!! If that doesn't instantly make me happy, then my life is a lost cause.
4) I am really starting to feel the stress associated with telling my parents that I'm dropping a class but I'm closer to getting the money to pay them off my back. If you didn't understand that last comment, my parents always jump on my back about dropping classes because of the "money it wastes" but this time I will get to shut them up by paying them back. Though I'm not excited to watch my money go 649762974569 times faster than it came, I'm thoroughly happy that my parents will really have no reason to yell at me. I only hope that they'll let me reimburse them slowly so that I can spend my money in Charleston...
5) I am utterly sick of everything involving cold weather. I'm sick of fires and I'm sick of scarves. I'm sick of long sleeves and I'm sick of jeans. I'm sick of jackets, socks, cold feet, chapped lips, static hair and the lack of vitamin D. Not to mention what torture it is to live 10 feet from the river, having and wanting to look at it all day long, just knowing that it's too cold to play in. There isn't much of a silver lining when talking about cold weather but regardless of the temperature, it still smells like spring, the sun is up longer and the birds chirp away all day long. Now if we could just bypass the bugs, I'd be happy.
6) Last but certainly not least, I miss my friends more than I've ever had to in my life. Sarah, Monica and Kaitlyn are in Athens and Julia is all the way in Italy. Skype has been a life saver and it's nice that I'm not the only isolated friend but it still sucks to hear about all the fun everyone is having together while I'm home alone. Well, I'm not home alone...Izzo, Ike, Bo and Jarrett are my heroes in this town and I owe my sanity to them. We have a great time just bullshitting around a fire, popping wheelies in golf carts and even just driving around Willmington Island but I can't help but feel that massive chunk of my life that's missing. That chunk is actually a major source of my unsettled feeling...Brian said something to me the other day that really brought it home: "come up here and visit...you know we all miss you more than you think." Until that comment, I always considered myself expendable; though I miss the ever-living shit out of those guys, there's no way they even notice that I'm not around, right? Wrong...those guys only live 45 minutes away (I've made it in 30) and I am making a vow to spend more time up there. Of all the things I've done in my life, the thing I regret the absolute most is letting these kids get out of reach. Silver lining: it's almost spring break and my schedule is clearing up...if yall are somehow reading this, get ready because I am attaching myself to yalls hips from here on out.

enough of the stress and on the the great things I've discovered recently:
1) I can't say it enough, ST. PATTY'S DAY IS ALMOST HERE!!! I really think I love this holiday more than many others do...
2) I am almost in the double-digits of my birthday countdown! since a lot of people don't understand what that means for some reason, let me explain: my birthday is 104 days away...therefore, in 5 days, my birthday will be 99 days away. 99 is a double digit. Understand? If you don't, you're not worth my time and explanation anyway.
3) I am well on my way to regaining the old me. I went downtown last night against my will. I was planning on leaving by 1 because I was tired and wasn't in the mood to drink, as usual, but then something miraculous happened. I drank and drank and danced and stayed until 2:30. I didn't feel sick while trying to sleep and I wasn't hungover this morning. Hello, old me...where the hell ya been?
4) Today was perfect (minus the stress of these papers). The weather was beautiful, I got to sleep in this morning, Renee and I went on a walk for the first time in 3 weeks and it felt great. Not to mention that we went downtown for lunch and a quick shopping trip just to soak up the weather. Copper Penny had the most beautiful clothes, as usual, though I didn't buy myself a shiny new toy...primarily because the dress that I fell in love with was $300 which not even I can talk myself into spending on a dress to spill alcohol all over...back to the charleston thing: God, I can't wait to go on my mini vacation.

Thoughts of the Day

If you haven't already figured this out, I'm the queen of procrastination...so instead of writing either of the two 7-page papers I have due next week, I'm going to share my thoughts on the blogosphere.



1) Who I would want to be if I wasn't me: Kat Von D. (rhyme not intentional)

I'm going to start by saying don't judge me. Even though my parents have often made the point, and I quote: "You can pay to get a tattoo but I will pay a doctor to sew you up after I shave it off your skin," I've still always had the faint idea of getting a tiny tattoo...so I figure that if I wasn't me, why not be someone with over 130 of them. I know that you still think I'm crazy but give her a chance. I happen to think Kat Von D (Katherine Von Drachenberg to be exact) is incredibly gorgeous in a total hardass kind of way. Hah no I'm not a lesbo...just watch LA Ink a few times and you'll agree with me. Besides, there's always been a part of me that's wanted to have the ability to roll out of bed looking super disheveled yet make it look totally intentional. Kat encompasses that ability and the hardass persona but don't be fooled...she absolutely loves what she does and she's the best at it. Sure, people go in to the shop to get erroneous tattoos but some people go in there to get them for very viable reasons...deaths in the family, cancer survivors, etc; she gets to give those people something to look at in awe and rememberance for the rest of their lives. Gah, I wish that kind of job existed in my future. She's my new obsession if you couldn't tell.

2) I wish I was seeing green: Clothing companies reallyyyyy need to start making more things in the color green...not mossy, sage green, I mean kelly green. I have searched every website humanly imaginable and cannot find a single green piece of clothing. Not one. No shirts, no dresses, no skirts, no sweaters...I haven't even found a green bathingsuit for the love of God. What the hell am I supposed to wear on St. Patrick's Day?? Ok, green isn't the easiest color to wear and it's not a color that people wear often but you'd think that at least one store out there would bank on the fact that people really enjoy St. Patricks day...or maybe I'm just spoiled? I've never seen St. Patty's Day outside of Savannah and am happy to say that I'll never have to.

3) What is wrong with me? I have two 7-page papers due on Wednesday and Thursday of next week but I have yet to even think of a TOPIC! Am I the only one that finds everything else under the sun that much more important than grades? I can just feel the stress stockpiling on top of me but as of now, the Real Housewives of Orange County are wayyyy more entertaining. Reality TV is my new best friend.

I had more to say but it's almost 11 and therefore way past my bed time so I have grown old and forgotten...

Hindsight is 20/20

I should be in bed considering that the only thing between me and complete meltdown mode is a few hours of sleep...but tonight, I think something is more important. To steal a line from "Ooh La La" by The Faces (if you for some reason have just crawled out from under a rock and haven't heard this song, I feel sorry for you) I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.

I know, I know, I'm only 20. I didn't need to know anything when I was younger...wrong. Until now, I looked back at the summer of '08 as the best summer I have ever had; and frankly, if this summer doesn't top it, nothing will (reminder, I'll finally be 21). I found and became friends with some of the greatest people I have ever met...and to think it all began with some wookie kid who liked to call himself "Izzo" and a game of flip cup. At first, I was hesitant when he and his friend Phil asked me to join them on an innocent trip to Williamson, but I soon found out that it was the best decision I have ever made...but what went wrong? Oh yeh, me. Don't misunderstand me, these kids are still my best friends (and I am damned-determined to keep it that way though I've managed to fill my life with superfluous adult crap...not anymore) but as Sarah so wisely said, hindsight is 20/20. I had some great things going for me that I managed to screw up...shocker.

Here's my current hindsight:

- High School - I only have two things I would've changed about highschool:
1) Now that my mom realizes how ridiculous a $17,000 tuition is, I should've pushed transferring out of SCDS a little bit harder.
2) I probably should have spent less time on jackasses while spending more time solidifying relationships that would have made my life easier...or less of a highschool sob-story.
3) No, I have nothing to say about academics and study habits...I am me so regardless of what GPA I graduadted with or what college I went to, I would still be at AASU right now. Home just makes everything better.

- Summer of '08 -
1) Even back then I knew that summer was the best yet but I had no idea it was going to be the best ever. Had I known that, I probably would've devoted myself to more certain things instead of playing the "it's only summer...it will end" game with myself.
2) I have got to stop being so f-ing oblivious. Apparently, my oblviousness threw up walls between me and people that it shouldn't have. Though I'm still not fully convinced that my friends couldn't have tried a little harder to point out all the shit I was doing wrong, I do agree that I need to stop assuming that I'm always in the "friend zone."
3) I wish I was as mature then as I am now...haha...ok so maybe I'm not the most mature person out there but having the ability to express my feelings would've reallyyyyyy made my life a hell of a lot less frustrating.
4) I should've focused on the future a little more. I made such rash decisions just because I didn't care enough about anything to want to work on it. Little did I know, it was going to come back to bite me in the ass. Now, thanks to Sarah's "brain seed," all I can think about is how happy I could've been had I known what I know now, when I was younger.

Oh the things I would do to be able to relive my life the right way...

Random Tangents

Global Warming my ass...

I live in Savannah, GA for a reason: the average high here this time of the year is in the mid-to-upper 60's (so says the weather channel) which is still a little chilly but better than the freaking 50 degree weather I've had to deal with these past couple of weeks. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure that this has been the coldest winter we've had since the late 80's? I'm SO sick of the cold. SO SO sick of the cold. No really, you want to know how sick? Sick enough to take all of the cold weather clothes out of my closet and put them in the guest bedroom closet...I can't even look at them anymore. I am praying for a warm spring break and St. Patty's Day (only 36 more days!) and I've never been so happy to have a summer birthday because I KNOW it will be warm enough (117 more days...i'm getting there).

Ugh Mondays...

I was having a horrible case of the Mondays after a decently entertaining weekend. Donnie and Jonathan came down from Statesboro again which meant yet another trip out to Cafe Loco was made. It so happened that Andrew was playing a gig out there which soon topped my list of hilarious events. After a soft-core pornographic photo shoot with the Indian tiki-man in the corner of the room, an insanely drunk woman decided to make her singing debut with Andrew. Not only could she not sing, she had to look up the lyrics for "Hotel California" on her cell phone; she then ended her performance by luring Andrew into a kissy death-trap. It was priceless. But back to my case of the Mondays: I woke up this morning feeling completely stressed, exhausted and unmontivated...until my long-lost best friend FINALLY got the internet!!! For those of you that still don't know, Julia has been gone for 2 weeks but just got internet today so I got to talk to her for the first time. I've never been so happy.

It's almost concert season...

While I wait for SCAD to decide who's coming for the concert in the park, I'm going to line up my summer concert schedule. All I've got so far is the Gov't Mule and Dave Matthews Band concert in Atlanta of Jula 27 but I'm pretty optimistic about my other up-coming options...However, I would greatly appreciate some company for the DMB concert if anyone is interested!

I'm going to try to be more of a girl this summer...

There I go again, thinking ahead to summer...I just can't help it. But, I spent most of last summer in shorts and tank tops because they were easy and most of my days/nights were spent sitting on a dock...not this summer though. I'll be 21 so downtown savannah and tybee are going to squeeze themselves into my nightlife more often so I'm resurrecting the dresses and heels again. Not only am I going to be a girl, I'm going to be a grown up.

Toddlers & Tiaras

I have found yet another gem in the world of Reality TV. It's called "Toddlers & Tiaras" and has been playing on TLC for the past 5 hours for some reason? But to answer your question: no, I don't think anything about it is ok. It's one of those things that resembles a car wreck...its terrible, tragic and sometimes horrific yet you just can't look away. It is beyond entertaining because I am beyond shocked. I have been sitting here watching mothers dress up their kids, sons and daughters alike, in hopes that they win titles such as "Miss Glitz" and "Diamond Supreme Queen." And by "dress up," I mean these women buy hair pieces, make-up, fake teeth (since children naturally lose teeth and whatnot), $4,000 dresses and SPRAY TANS for their children...how is this legal? What happened to child abuse laws? These 3yr old girls wear more make-up than I own (see picture above) and wear dresses that cost more money than I would ever spend on an article of clothing...including my wedding dress. I've always been disgusted by the pictures of these poor children but I never knew the extent of the torture in which they endure. Beauty pageants and video games...ruining childhood across America.

My Weekly Rant: Volume 1

I know Sarah, you've made multiple lists of things that "grind your gears" but after watching the news all night, I'm also in the mood to share my current list with the world....

This week's list of things that piss me off:

1) I'm gonna say it: Obama. What is it going to take for him to realize that the American people aren't very happy with him...at all? I mean shit, his socialistic healthcare reform bill has been stuck in debate for a year and his approval ratings are on a downhill slope which is very abnormal this early on in his presidency (considering most candidates serve two consecutive terms) And we mustn't forget that people, even those of his own political party, have tried to put their anger on display in the only way that Americans know how...Massachusetts, a blue state, voted Scott Brown (R) into Ted Kennedy's senate seat; a senate seat that had been Democratic for 40+ years (minus an understandable hiatus when JFK was assassinated); If that's not a big "Hey Obama, you're wrong," then I don't know what is...Sorry, I'll stop with the political talk. I just can't help it sometimes.

2) HBO: Why in the good Lord's name does HBO like to torture me?! Entourage and True Blood's season finales were back in August or September if I remember correctly (which I might not considering that was FOREVER ago). But I do know that neither of them will begin their new seasons until "Early Summer 2010." What a sack of shit. I've already waited about 4 months but don't know if I have enough patience left for 4 or 5 more...With my luck, HBO and I don't have the same idea of "early summer."

3) Late Night Commercials: Just because I'm awake past 11pm doesn't mean I'm a horn-dog or need natural male enhancement. Maybe I just can't sleep? Maybe I just want to watch That 70's Show, Golden Girls and Cheers. I would greatly appreciate if TV networks would move their really creepy Enzyte commercials to channels that show related series. Do you really think someone watching Golden Girls at 2am wants to call some blonde twins for a good time? Didn't think so.

4) Lack of Money: So help me God, one day I will learn how to grow a money tree. And if I don't, I'm screwed. I want to go on so many vacations and to so many concerts; I want cute dress after cute bathingsuit after cute shoes but I can't get any of it. It's just really depressing. Hopefully my job luck is turning around thanks to Monica!! (fingers crossed)

5) Winter: I am SO sick of the cold; and by the cold, I mean any temperature below 70. I haven't quite pinpointed it but for some reason I am far more sick of winter this year than I've ever been before. Part of me thinks the reason is that I live at home now and look out over the marsh every day...it is such a tease to have the river right there, staring you in the face, knowing it's too cold to play in. Yeh, I'n just going to say that's it due to lack of a better reason.

6) "The Rock": When did Dwayne Johnson decide that he wanted to be the next "Children's Movie" star? It's kinda creepy.

7) School: that one's pretty self explanatory. It's school, it sucks.

8) Signing Day: the past couple of college football signing days have been nothing but sore reminders of how disappointing our team is. I've been told that we remain in the top 10 recruitment classes but that means nothing to me since Bama, Florida, LSU and even Auburn beat us. It's no secret that I hate Florida (as should all Georgia fans)...can't wait to watch that first game without Tebow. I can almost taste the victory. And when it comes to LSU, I don't really care...though the rivalry between me and my friend Mellody, a Baton Rouge native, is quite entertaining. It doesn't bother me that Bama excelled in recruitment, it's expected. They won the National Championship and they've got a damn good team....not to mention, we don't play them (in a regular season game) for another 3 years which gives us the chance to re-learn the game of football and retaliate for our last meeting between the hedges. But I simply just can't ignore the Auburn thing...Auburn? Really?

9) Being Pale: My philosophy usually is "It's Winter, everyone's supposed to be pale." Actually, it really really bothers me when people are unnaturally dark in the winter...hey, it's February, no one is going to laugh at you for being a couple hundred shades lighter than you are in the summer; and if they do, you shouldn't associate with them. If you haven't noticed, tanning beds give off more of an Oompa-Loompa tan than the sun anyway...and I'm sorry, there's nothing remotely attractive about Oompa-Loompas. All of that being said, I understand the occasional trip to the tanning salon...it actually does make you feel better. Maybe its the feeling of "I'm getting tan!" or maybe it's the super-warm bed that you get to lay/nap in for a few minutes? I was going to use the whole "vitamin B" excuse but apparently scientists just discovered that that's a load of crap...What I'm trying to say is that I've had my Jersey-Shore-like tanning phases but have ultimately decided (I'm older and smarter now) that there's no point in going all the time. I actually know girls, my age and younger, that are more freckly and leathery than ever before...it's really unattractive. In my opinion,though you're a few shades darker, your skin looks like shit...however, I'm so pale and sick of winter that I might soon be stepping up my tanning bed game. Gah it'd just be a lot easier if someone would create a "fast forward" button so it could be summer.

10) My new outlook on life: Ever since I can remember, I've been the girl with big boobs, scrawny arms and big hips (baby-birthing hips as Sarah so affectionately calls them). It was natural and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess knowing that those were 3 physical attributes that couldn't be (cheaply) altered, I decided that I didn't care what the rest of me looked like. For some reason though, I've recently decided that I need to go on 4 mile walks 5 days a week and start watching what I eat/do...no more cokes, less fast food, walk on the treadmill if it's raining, etc. Though I know that there is nothing wrong with working out and eating healthy, I've also come to discover that it is a very self-loathing lifestyle. If I don't go walk for a couple of days for what ever reason, I feel worthless and huge. If I eat out with my niece or drink a coke, I literally sit there and think about all of the things I'm not going to eat/drink for the rest of the day/week. Instead of looking in the mirror and noticing that my jeans are a little looser, I look in the mirror and notice the things that haven't changed. The funny part is that I never used to work out or eat right...ever...so automatically, all of this effort is going to have a positive effect (that I'm still not going to think is enough). I just wish I could go back to the days in which I didn't care.

#10 was a little depressing but it's my blog to vent about whatever I want to...I apologize.