20 going on 53...

I have recently come to the realization that I'm the oldest 20yr old I know...and it's really starting to get to me.

When did I start worrying about being a functioning member of society rather than the token drunkass? Better yet, when did the mere thought of a hangover become enough to make me refuse a drink? Since when did a daily regimen of advil become a necessity due to an ever-aching back? Why can't I stay up past 2am and can't sleep past 10am? Lord knows that back in my prime, I could sleep well past 1pm if I ever went to sleep at all...that's sad..."back in my prime" are 4 words that no 20 year old should ever speak.

I know, I'm not even 21 yet....and I've been told that "everything will turn around on your birthday because alcohol will be accessible...and what 21 yr old doesn't drink too much?" I just don't see it happening since I have already become my 53yr old mother. Don't get me wrong, my mother is a saint...and I someday hope to actually be like her...I just thought I'd be older when it happened. For God's sake, I'm worrying about things like wrinkles and gravity! What happened to the old me? What happened to the me that broke her fingers (yes, tequila, I'm still ignoring you)? The me that could drink all my friends, including the guys, under the table? Where did the flip-cup champion me go? What about the me that cared more about showing skin than looking respectable?...ehhh, I don't miss that me very much. But I do miss the me that only worried about what my weekend would entail...not my future.

I'm making a pact with myself. I'm going to find the old me...it's going to take a while but I'm bringing me back slowly, but surely. If not for my own happiness, then to at least get people off my back. Starting right now, I'm going to reverse my ever-so-boring aging...by the summer, I'll be 20 again. No wait, I'll be 21...cannotttt waittttt

(p.s. sorry for yet another un-funny blog post. I'll fix that sometime in the near future too)

Ciao Bella...

I hoped this day would magically not come, but at this very instant (assuming there were no delays) half of my heart is boarding a plane to Italy :(

That might sound a little extreme, but I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. For those of you that don't know, Goolia is spending a whole semester in Italia. I know, I know...I can skype and facebook with her but it's simply just not the same. Since I met gools a year or so ago, We haven't spent more than a maximum of 2 months without seeing each other in person; we have virtually been attached at the hip. She and Sarah both share an equal part of half of me...taking that into account, how am I supposed to survive the next 3.5 months?? Even when we're not in the same city, she has always been just a phone call away...but not anymore :( Who is going to sit on the porch with me till 3am? I miss my stoop kid.

To top it all off...all of my female friends are in Athens and all my guy friends are in Statesboro; with the exception of Ike, Drew and Skoonk. Without them, I'd go crazy in this town. Don't get me wrong, coming home was the best decision I've ever made and I haven't regretted it so far. I'm infinitely happier than I ever was in Athens or Charleston but I don't think I was ever prepared for leaving Goolia and Hannay behind. (Yes, Sarah, I miss you equally but you come home every once in a while...which still isn't enough)

I'm incredibly excited for gools and know she's going to have a great time, I just wish I had a job and could afford a Spring Break trip to Cortona. I guess the point behind this was to show just how much entertainment I'm going to need over the next few months now that Julia's gone...time to go get a webcam and start the countdown till her return.

To Gools: I love you and already miss you :(
To Sarah: COME HOME already! or take me to Nola...either one would work.

What Not to Wear

Warning: Guys, yall will not think this is funny and probably wont understand it anyway. But if you want to continue reading, no worries, theres nothing gross in this post.

As I was watching "What Not to Wear" on TLC today, I had a revelation: I'm going to go to Goodwill and buy some of the most haneous clothing I can find and parade around in them, makeupless, hoping a camera man stops me on the street to ask me about my "style"...hell, I might even avoid a shower for a few days. I'm sure the girls already know where I'm going with this and I'm also sure the guys are completely lost. Well, guys, there is very little I won't do for $5,000 and a trip to New York....so, if I start dressing like a hobo, someone get on the phone and call Stacey and Clinton to tell them I need a new wardrobe. I might just reward you with a present from NYC.

Sigh, If only my plan would work...I care far too much about what I look like and how people perceive me to walk around looking like a slob. I'm the one that showers, does my hair (blowdryer, rollers and all) and makeup everyday, even if i'm just going to sit around a fire or on a dock. I had to talk to myself for 30 minutes before feeling comfortable enough to go to school in sweatpants today. Julia and Sarah will be the first to think this is a lie since 90% of the time they see me, I'm wearing the super sexy outfit combo of sweatpants, cowboy boots and a towel wrap topped off with a BC sweatshirt that is a few sizes too big; but girls, remember, 90% of the time yall see me, we're just having a wine night that may involve anything from video games to stoop talks...love yall, dont care what yall think about my appearance though haha.

Why do I put all that time into my appearance for others, you ask? because I know what I think when I walk past the 250lb woman wearing sweatpants and a sequined strapless top in the middle of January (yes, she exists. I saw her today) and I don't want to cause the same reaction.

Moral of the story: I want $5000 and a shopping trip to New York, my getting-ready regimine has become tedious but I still think more people need to take a second look in the mirror before walking out the door...aaaand I just randomly needed to ramble for some reason. I could get used to having a blog.

Weekend Warrior

A wise and entertaining quote from Aaron Karo, the creator of ruminations.com:

"It amuses me that after all these years, my parents still ask what I did this weekend and expect a meaningful response. After all, I’m single and thirty. My Fridays consist of furiously emailing with the boys to figure out which bar to hit, going to said bar, then getting obscenely drunk. My Saturdays consist of sleeping late, trying to remember what the fuck happened the night before, furiously emailing with the boys to determine which bar to go to, and then ending up at the same spot we hit on Friday. Sundays are for recapping and napping. I’m a weekend warrior, Mom. There’s no time for hiking, museums or culture. That shit is for couples…or days when you and Dad are visiting."

I don't know why, but I found this to be absolutely hilarious and felt it was 100% necessary to share it with the world. Hope you enjoy.

Countdowns and Countless Sequels

While I was using a countdown website to tell me how long I have to wait for holidays and whatnot, I stumbled upon some movie sequels that I haven't heard of before; and in my opinion, most of them shouldn't be made...

1) Shrek Forever After (a.k.a. Shrek 4)...really? I'm not denying Shrek's amazing ability to entertain adults and children equally but the third one was horrific so I'm having a hard time understanding why Dreamworks decided to make a 4th.

2) Transformers 3? Didn't Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox get close enough to dying (while fighting with and against the same robots) in the first two movies? Why yet another movie about Autobots vs. Decepticons? Oh wait, Megan Fox is in it...and God knows people of both genders spend good money on Megan Fox.

3) Toy Story 3? Its not really my place to complain about this one because I didn't like the first two either...yes, I know I'm the only one.

4) The Hangover 2? Don't try to get mad at me for this one. I love the hangover just as much as the next person (Sarah, Julia and I perform a nice acapella version of "What Do Tigers Dream Of?") but I simply just don't see how they're even planning on creating anything close to the original. A second Hangover in Vegas would be boring...but whats left? Maybe Amsterdam...or better yet, St. Patty's day in Savannah? Just a thought.

5) Sex and the City 2? Don't get me wrong, I can't wait for this one to come out; Sex and the City remains engaged in a close battle with Entourage and True Blood for my favorite TV series. I still, however, don't quite understand why the series ended. Why end the show if there were still enough plot options to make a movie? Either way, this movie won't be as good as the first. I mean why in the hell do the girls end up on camels in India??

6) Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides? This is probably the most shocking yet predictable of all; I saw it coming, I was just hoping it wouldnt. The characters of the Pirates movies are impeccably cast but I seem to grow more and more tired of them as each movie drags on...and let me tell you, it's REALLY hard to make me sick of watching Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom on the big screen. I doubt this one is going to go anywhere.

Now on to more important things:

March 5th, 2010: 38 days till the release of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Judging by the previews and pictures I've seen, I suggest you not plan on seeing this after taking any hallucinogenic drugs...you won't ever think normally again.

March 12th, 2010: 45 days till spring break. It's only the 3rd week of school and i'm ready for summer so spring break can't come fast enough.

June 10th, 2010: 135 days till FIFA World Cup in South Africa...before I die, I will go to the World Cup. I want to experience legitimate soccer (futbol) hooligans.

July 4th, 2010: 159 days till Tybee's annual party for America's birthday. REMINDER: its on a Sunday this year...stock up.

No, I didn't forget, I saved the best for last:

March 17th, 2010: 50 days till Savannah's St. Patrick's Day parade and celebration. I cannot even begin to portray my excitement for my favorite, and the best, holiday of the year.

June 6th, 2010: 131 days till MY 21st BIRTHDAY! I'm more excited for my birthday than St. Patty's Day for the first time in my life; but seeing as it's my 21st, I think it's acceptable. I've been waiting for this birthday since I was 14. Can't wait. REMINDER: my birthday is on a Sunday too. Stay tuned for which days will be designated celebration days.

Boxes and Bear Fights...

Since I can sense a Tornado coming on, and it scares the ever-living shit out of me, I'm going to use this sleepless night to recap my weekend...

Every so often, Sarah and I plan a trip to Outback to do girly things like talk about our feelings while simultaneously eating them in the form of cheese fries (fact: outback cheese fries are the single unhealthiest food in america...does that stop us? No. And you're not allowed to judge us for it). This time, however, we decided to spice things up by inviting Donnie and Jonathan. Sarah gave a description of these two but I simply just dont know where to start...I'm sure you'll learn more about them and many others throughout my blogging future. As you'll soon learn, I immediately regretted the invitation decision.

As to be expected, Sarah and I were about 30 minutes late to dinner but thought nothing of it...it was a friday night and Outback's wait is usually 45+ minutes long and of course the guys already put our names down. Au contraire...we arrive to find the guys at the bar (I would've been shocked to find them anywhere else). They had failed to ask for a table and to remain somewhat sober. After an abnormally short wait, we were seated and the shenanigans began.

One thing you need to know about Donnie is that he is unfairly quick witted...before you can even finish a sentence, this kid has the grossest yet funniest comeback already half way executed. And one thing you need to know about Jonathan is that he loves to add fuel to Donnie's fire. The whole meal consisted of jaw-dropping comments pertaining to things such as gag-reflexes (or the lack thereof). By the end of the meal, I'm about ready to jump ship while everyone else is tipsy (or drunk, in the guys' case) enough to stomach the vulgarity; then, our "crispy," grilled-out waiter came back to the table and asks if we want boxes for our food. Of course the guys have virtually cleaned their plates so Sarah looks at me.

Sarah: "hey kath, do you want a box?"

Me : "no but you can have my box" (in a completely unintentionally questionable tone)

Our waiter tries to hide his laughter as I immediately cover my face and everyone else laughs a little too loud (I dont think our neighbors liked us very much). The waiter returns to the table with a variety of to-go boxes for us to choose from:

Waiter (to sarah): "do you want a big or small box?"

Sarah: "hahahaha the small one is fine"

Waiter (referring to jonathan's steak): "do you want his meat in your box?"

Needless to say, though gross and painful at times, it might have been the most entertaining meal of my life.

Then, we moved the shitshow to Cafe Loco on Tybee where Jonathan introduced Sarah to EVERYONE as his girlfriend (keep dreaming, kid) and we watched Shane fight a bear for the first time. For those of you that dont know, a bear fight is an outrageously expensive and dangerous shot that consists of an "Irish Car Bomb" followed by a "Jager Bomb." The bear attacked Ali's eye but both she and Shane survived. I'd say the night was an overall success. As Sarah said, never a dull moment.

Procrastination always wins.

I don't know exactly why I decided to do this but I guess there is quite a compilation of reasons behind it:

1) I have about 40 pages of Political Science papers due in my classes this semester but procrastination has already gotten the best of me. I will probably spend more time on this than on my papers. Please feel free to yell at me for it.

2) I'm bored. All the time. I've tried to fill my days with Law & Order SVU marathons and facebook farming but I'm sick of both. Shocking, I know.

3) I am very opinionated and love to talk...it's not a promising combination. I will use this to voice my arguments about anything from Politics to football or maybe even gossip. I'll try to make it entertaining.

4) My posts will most likely express any emotion from incredibly angry to downright depressing but it's my blog so I guess that's only fair.

5) Last, but not least, Julia is going to Italy for a semester (I'm still unbelievably upset about it) so I'm going to use this as a means of communication and storytelling when it's too inconvenient to skype or facebook is just too tedious.

Feel free to comment whenever you feel necessary but don't be rude...it's my blog, not yours (*cough* donnie...) But keep in mind, this attempt may be futile and shortlived so enjoy it while you can.