Boxes and Bear Fights...

Since I can sense a Tornado coming on, and it scares the ever-living shit out of me, I'm going to use this sleepless night to recap my weekend...

Every so often, Sarah and I plan a trip to Outback to do girly things like talk about our feelings while simultaneously eating them in the form of cheese fries (fact: outback cheese fries are the single unhealthiest food in america...does that stop us? No. And you're not allowed to judge us for it). This time, however, we decided to spice things up by inviting Donnie and Jonathan. Sarah gave a description of these two but I simply just dont know where to start...I'm sure you'll learn more about them and many others throughout my blogging future. As you'll soon learn, I immediately regretted the invitation decision.

As to be expected, Sarah and I were about 30 minutes late to dinner but thought nothing of it...it was a friday night and Outback's wait is usually 45+ minutes long and of course the guys already put our names down. Au contraire...we arrive to find the guys at the bar (I would've been shocked to find them anywhere else). They had failed to ask for a table and to remain somewhat sober. After an abnormally short wait, we were seated and the shenanigans began.

One thing you need to know about Donnie is that he is unfairly quick witted...before you can even finish a sentence, this kid has the grossest yet funniest comeback already half way executed. And one thing you need to know about Jonathan is that he loves to add fuel to Donnie's fire. The whole meal consisted of jaw-dropping comments pertaining to things such as gag-reflexes (or the lack thereof). By the end of the meal, I'm about ready to jump ship while everyone else is tipsy (or drunk, in the guys' case) enough to stomach the vulgarity; then, our "crispy," grilled-out waiter came back to the table and asks if we want boxes for our food. Of course the guys have virtually cleaned their plates so Sarah looks at me.

Sarah: "hey kath, do you want a box?"

Me : "no but you can have my box" (in a completely unintentionally questionable tone)

Our waiter tries to hide his laughter as I immediately cover my face and everyone else laughs a little too loud (I dont think our neighbors liked us very much). The waiter returns to the table with a variety of to-go boxes for us to choose from:

Waiter (to sarah): "do you want a big or small box?"

Sarah: "hahahaha the small one is fine"

Waiter (referring to jonathan's steak): "do you want his meat in your box?"

Needless to say, though gross and painful at times, it might have been the most entertaining meal of my life.

Then, we moved the shitshow to Cafe Loco on Tybee where Jonathan introduced Sarah to EVERYONE as his girlfriend (keep dreaming, kid) and we watched Shane fight a bear for the first time. For those of you that dont know, a bear fight is an outrageously expensive and dangerous shot that consists of an "Irish Car Bomb" followed by a "Jager Bomb." The bear attacked Ali's eye but both she and Shane survived. I'd say the night was an overall success. As Sarah said, never a dull moment.